Couple celebrate Islington’s second gay marriage

When Islington’s only two gay bars closed down, Lou Monaco, 46, began a meetup group to enable the area’s gay community to socialise.

It was at the group’s first social that Lou met his partner Aarron Erbas, 23, and the pair are now set to be the second couple in Islington to have a same sex marriage ceremony at the town hall when the progressive legislation comes in to place on Saturday.

The community that the couple have helped to create in Islington has played its part in this historic moment. “Our friends are family too,” says Lou. Groups like this are important in contributing to that sense of family; none of the couple’s family will be coming to their wedding.

Aarron explains that his family are not supportive of their relationship, because of both his sexuality and their age gap. Problems with his family have even resulted in police involvement. Lou says he wants to send a picture of their wedding rings to his family once they’re married, but Aarron won’t let him.

Aarron, a Biochemical Engineering PHD student at University College London, and Lou, a clinical and forensic psychologist, met a year and a half ago, when Aarron turned up at Lou’s first meet up for gay people in the Islington. He had not even come out yet, but immediately took to the group, and he has been with Lou ever since.

Lou and Aarron want to celebrate this historic moment in Islington. Originally from America, Lou says “I have loved Islington for the last five years, since I moved here. It didn’t even occur to me to have it in a church or anywhere else.” Aarron agrees. When Lou moved to the borough five years ago there were just two gay bars, but both closed down leaving no local options for social nights. As Lou puts it, “if you don’t want to go to Soho it’s difficult to arrange.”

This is why he began his meetup group for the area’s homosexual community in November 2012. Aarron was not eager for him to continue arranging the meetups once they became involved, but the two are francophiles and were eager to continue the community they had begun and so they instead they started a gay French conversation group in 2013.

Aarron came out a year ago to his family and friends, supported by his relationship and Islington’s gay community. Now they will be the second couple in Islington to have a same sex marriage. “I was more concerned about our relationship than the law,” says Aarron. “For me it’s a turning point,” adds Lou, “for Aarron, he had some resistance from the family because of our age gap.”

“We weren’t planning to get married so early in the year but it’s something that means quite a lot to us – it’s such a historical time,” says Aarron.“I proposed to Lou – I was very swept up in the moment.” Despite resistance from some close to the couple because Aarron was a lot younger than Lou, it was he who took the lead with the marriage plans. But to be sure he proposed to Lou three times throughout the year, to ensure they were both certain and serious, before making wedding plans.

Lou didn’t believe same sex marriage was something he would see in his lifetime. Whereas Aarron has seen the law come in at a young age: “for me it’s a new experience – I haven’t got anything to contrast it against.”

The wedding promises to be an extravagant event, they even have local celebrity and friend Kimberley Wilson, a finalist in the TV series The Great British Bake Off, attending and making the cake. Other guests have threatened to turn up in flamboyant costumes. People are travelling from far and wide for the momentous event, with guests coming from Scotland, Ireland, Germany and even America.

Lou praises the community of friends they have around them: “We have had a lot of support from our straight friends; they’re excited about coming to the wedding. Many of my gay friends coming are in civil partnerships but not married – we will be the first in our group.”

They are holding their wedding reception at the same place the group’s first meetup was held – The Islington pub – where they met. Islington is central to the entire wedding, and they are even going to a local French restaurant for a post-wedding meal.

“As soon as we get married and come out of the hall we’re changing our Facebook statuses,” says Aarron. He is looking forward to show off their new official status now that he has made his sexuality public.

Lou still does not seem able to believe it is happening: “I didn’t think I would get married ever. I think it just takes a while to sink in that you can actually do it now.”

Rozina Sabur

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MA Newspaper Journalism student

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